My 61-year-old mother has always spent money as if it were something that should be enjoyed right away. She was all for anything branded “self-care,” including trips, spa days, and beauty treatments. “I worked very hard for this money, so I deserve to spoil myself,” mom would often say when I questioned it.
She was clearly not saving for the future at all as time went on. To be honest, I thought it meant there would be no inheritance—just trip photos and invoices.
She called me lately, sounding frightened. She informed me that she need costly medical care because she was really sick. She pleaded with me to cover the expenses and pay her hospital bills because she claimed to have no savings left.
I declined.
While I felt chilly performing it, I also thought she had made her decision. You can’t treat money like a party your entire life and then expect someone else to clean up the damage, I reasoned.
However, she stated something that made my skin crawl before hanging up: “You’ll end up feeling sorry.”
I was unsure about her meaning. I hung up, feeling angry and shaken.
When I learned the reality two days later, I was astounded.
It was a trap.
She was genuinely ill. She did, in fact, require treatment. She wasn’t broke, though. Not even near. She still had lots of money, more than enough to pay for everything. She wanted to “test” me and see if I would help her, so she had lied about running out of savings.
She concluded that my refusal showed that I was only interested in her money and not in her as a person.
She informed me that she had chosen to donate her inheritance to charity because she was disappointed in me.
I feel tricked and angry now. She made something important into a loyalty test, which I detest. I’ll be honest: I feel entitled to that money, and I’m not prepared to see it donated to a worthy organization because of a game she chose to play.
How would you respond if you were me? Do you have any tips on how to deal with this without going crazy?
