One night, my husband and I got into a heated dispute that made the room feel cold. We both fell silent and decided to sleep in different rooms rather than attempting to work it out. Even though I was sad, tired, and upset, I was unable to fall asleep.
My spouse entered the room stealthily, as if he were reaching for something he had forgotten. I pretended to be asleep and remained motionless since I didn’t want to get into another argument. I heard him moving, and then all of a sudden he came to a stop directly beside the bed.
After a little pause, he leaned in close to me and muttered:
“I wish we hadn’t gotten married.”
My heart fell. The air seemed to leave my body. I kept my eyes closed. I stayed put. I lay there transfixed, trying to make it not true, trying to convince myself that I had misheard him.
I’m aware of what I heard, though.
I couldn’t quit thinking about it the following morning. Like a damaged tape, the words continued playing over and over in my mind. I was unable to concentrate on anything else. I finally came to the conclusion that I had to approach him personally because I deserved to know if he meant it.
“Last night, did you say you wished we’d never gotten married?” I asked him directly.
I must have been dreaming, he continued, staring at me in utter confusion. He maintained that he had never made such a statement.
But I know for sure. It didn’t occur to me.
I’m at a loss on what to do now. Do I believe what I remember? Should I let it go? Or does this indicate that there is a major problem in our marriage?
