Following the selection of a “forbidden” name for my son, I came to the realization of a family secret…

It’s generally assumed that naming a child will be a happy occasion, but in some cases, the choice may cause emotions that no one expected. This new mother waited until the last minute to reveal the name of her baby daughter in an attempt to surprise her relatives. By the time she finally revealed it, however, her decision sparked a reaction that might change her relationships and possibly her life forever.

 

Think about speaking openly with your father. In addition to letting him know that I can relate to his feelings, I also want to explain to him why Chris is such a significant name for you and your spouse. Make it obvious that creating new memories with your family is what matters most to you. Sometimes a simple, honest conversation is all that is needed to help clear the air and pave the way for healing.

Think about adopting a middle name or a nickname.

To reduce some of the tension that comes with the name “Chris,” you might want to think about adopting a nickname only when your parents are present. Options like “CJ,” “Kit,” or even his middle name would be suitable. In addition to giving your parents a small compromise that will make things easier for everyone, you will be able to keep the name that holds a lot of meaning for you.

If you find it too tough to discuss this with your father, try writing him a letter instead. You might explain in the letter that you didn’t know about the past but that you now recognize the feelings he is going through. As an alternative, you may say that you chose the name Chris out of love and as a way to honor your late spouse’s brother. He can read it whenever he’s ready, allow himself some space to think, and perhaps start to accept your choice without feeling pressured to respond right away.

Over the years, there have been substantial changes to the role of parenting. Previously seen as “bad parenting,” these practices are now seen as normal components of raising contented and self-assured kids. It’s amazing how these views, which were once deemed “unacceptable,” have evolved into the norm.

 

Rate article