I really have to get this off my chest since yesterday was such a blur that it left me reeling. It all began when I arrived home to a surprise: not only was our babysitter there, having just gotten out of the shower, but my husband was also home, which was strange as he was supposed to be at work.
Give me a little history. My husband and I made the decision to employ a nanny for our young children amidst the craziness of our careers. She had been excellent up until this perplexing time. She was there, damp hair and all, when I arrived home early at 6 p.m. She said that while the children were resting, she had taken a brief shower due to an incident involving spilled milk. I told her it felt wrong to take a shower at our apartment and wasn’t happy about it. After she dismissed my worries, my spouse surprised me by saying that he agreed with her!
I couldn’t get rid of a persistent doubt: why was he even at home? It wasn’t intended for his shift to conclude until later. Betrayed thoughts started to creep into my head. I made the decision to reactivate an old nanny cam the next day in order to gain more insight into what was actually happening while I was away.
The following morning, everything appeared to be normal. I kissed the kids, put up the camera, and headed off to work. But shortly after, I saw something on my phone that really stopped me in my tracks. My spouse returned home not long after I did! When I caught him chatting with our nanny, my heart fell.
Claiming to be sick, I hurried home, but in reality, I was sick with concern. Upon my arrival, everything appeared normal—my spouse was cooking, which further perplexed me. After some deceptive conversation, he revealed the truth. He was fired a week ago and was too embarrassed to inform me that he hadn’t been laid off. He had been feigning to go to work, then returning home to look for a job and assist with the kids.
As it happened, everything he and the nanny had told about the shower encounter was true. He was there the entire time, and it was really just a spill. I experienced a flurry of feelings, including compassion for what he was attempting to do to keep things regular for us, anger at being kept in the dark, and guilt for not noticing his stress.
